"He doesn't look Autistic."
"Did he get it from a vaccine?"
"My kids did that too, he'll grow out of it."
Almost everything after that word was like hearing one of the grownups from Charlie Brown talking.
"Wawawa. Wawawawaw."
I couldn't focus, I was blindsided. But the one thing that stuck with me that was said before we left was,
"He is still the same boy you came in here with today"
Everything changed after that. We had to discipline differently, teach differently, talk differently to him. We had to apply for medical assistance and start therapies and services that would bring strangers into our home. We started to read piles of books on the subject, and Google was getting a lot of attention in the wee hours of the night. My husband and I prayed a lot for him, for us, for strength, patience, and wisdom.
But my son, my sweet toddler who flapped his hands and liked to line up toys on the floor, was not phased by his diagnoses.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14
He was the same boy I fell in love with at first sight. He was God's gift to us. He was still our blessing, and we loved him more than ever.
He was no different than he always was, but we changed. We had to. We are still changing.
Awareness changed everything. Now that we were aware, we understood why he couldn't talk to us like other kids could. We knew why he didn't play like other kids, and why he got so upset over seemingly small things. We learned how to hold him during meltdowns, how to set routines, and how to encourage his imagination (which is quite elaborate now). We've had to learn patience, over and over and over again.
Our every day changed. We couldn't go to crowded places without knowing we might have to exit quickly when a meltdown came on. We had to pay attention to sensory input affecting our son in all situations. We didn't really go to amusement parks or big events. Family outings were a lot of work. Even going to church was difficult. We learned how to be prepared, and usually had a "plan B" for things.
We also learned how to recognize signs of Autism in others. So several years later we had our two younger boys evaluated and they were also diagnosed on the Autism spectrum.
The three boys are very different . There were some things similar in how they each presented their Autism, but many differences. So we had to make different adjustments to our ways for each child. I heard someone say once, "If you know one person with Autism, you know one person with Autism."
Autistic people, just like everyone else, are individuals. They bring their own personalities, abilities, and struggles into the mix. And they ought to be treated like the unique people they all are.
We became very aware of the struggles of Autism. But we also became aware of the triumphs. We learned to appreciate every victory our boys achieved, no matter how small. We a cheered them on as they had their ups and downs with speech struggles, potty training, physical limitations, social skills, and so much more.
We were forced to depend on God for carrying us through when we didn't know what step to take next, and we taught our kids to do the same.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24
My oldest started middle school this year. It's been a time of many adjustments once again. We've had some new battles to get through, as well as new victories. He enjoys math and science, and he attends all of the regular classes at his school with the help of a personal aide. My younger boys are making excellent grades and one of them recently was chosen by his peers to win an award for good character.
So here's what I would like to make people aware of today. Autism is not a disease or a thing that happens to people. Autism is a sum of differences that sets some people apart from others. It is one part of a definition of what makes each person a unique individual. And it can be different, and difficult, and amazing all at the same time.
It's not something to be afraid of. Yes, there are some struggles that have to be overcome, and many adjustments for an autistic person as well as their family. Many of those adjustments would be easier if there was more awareness around us, in churches, in schools, in restaurants and movie theaters. If more people in our culture can learn about the differences of Autism, Autistic people would not have to work so hard to fit in. They shouldn't have to change themselves to be like everyone else. Autism is not bad behavior or brokenness, it's a part of who they are.
God created us all as individuals. And we should all be given the opportunity to thrive, no matter what our differences are.
Be aware. Educate yourself. And do your part to include everyone no matter what differences there are between you and them. Make an attempt to learn something about it, or better yet, invite an Autistic person, or a parent out for coffee and get to know them better this month.
Have a blessed day!
*The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that 1 in 68 children (or 14.7 per 1,000 eight-year-olds) in multiple communities in the United States has been identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
